That Doesn’t Seem Like Love

I’m doing a study right now that’s really rocked my world.  It’s Beth Moore’s Daniel study.  Earlier this week the lesson was on fiery trials (because of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego).  In that lesson, there were accounts of Christian martyrs who were burned at the stake for their beliefs.  I didn’t deal well with the graphic (to me) accounts.  I wept as I read them and was literally sick to my stomach for the entire next day.  The pain and suffering that these men endured seemed so…unfair.  After all, God delivered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fire.  Why couldn’t he deliver these martyrs as well or at least keep them from so much pain?

Beth Moore’s conclusion to the lesson was that no matter what the outcome of a trial, we can be sure that a loving God is standing in the midst of it with us.  “Well that’s just great,” the cynical me pouted. “He was there with them, but why didn’t he DO something?  That doesn’t seem like love to me.”  I knew I wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but I’m telling you, I really wrestled with God about it.

Then, in my quiet time the next day, it was as if the Lord washed a fierce wave of cleansing over me.  He led me to the end part of the book of Job.  Job was wondering why God had allowed so much suffering to come into his life.  God answered him, but not in the comforting way one might expect.  He answers by asking Job…well, I’ll just quote it:

“Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and siad, ‘Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?…Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me if you have understanding.  Who set its measurements? Since you know…Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm and said, ‘Now gird up your loins like a man; I will ask you, and you instruct Me.  Will you really annul My judgment? Will you condemn Me that you may be justified? Or do you have an arm like God, and can you thunder with a voice like His?” Job 38:1-5; 40:6-9

Needless to say, Job was speechless. And so was I. Who am I to question the plans of the One who made the universe? Who am I to pout at what He deemed right? Who am I to judge His holy ways, as if I were the righteous one?

And who am I to say that He doesn’t seem like love?  He who endured the searing of whips, the blow of fists, the foulness of spit, the piercing of thorns, the agony of nails. For me.  He who went to face the fury of hell.  For me.  How could I ever, ever say that’s not love?  Maybe those martyrs had to face fires here on earth, but they didn’t have to face the fires of hell for eternity.  God may have let them suffer for a while, but he didn’t leave them to suffer forever.  He never promised them deliverance from pain, but he promised them deliverance from sin and eternity with Him.

Told you it rocked my world. And though I still pray vehemently that God does not see fit to put me or my family through any trial like that, I now take a position like Job’s: “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; therefore I retract, and I repent…” (Job42:5-6) Because, God, You DO seem like love – all over again.

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